Rearview Mirror

Reflecting on 2024 and why it's been kinda quiet around here.

Hello, dear reader, and welcome to the year 2025. It’s been a while since I put anything out here as you may or may not have noticed. The main reason for this has been time. I just haven’t had enough of it to spare (even though I still squeezed in some wonderful experiences, more of which later).

Back in 2022, I put all my belongings into storage and headed out on a house-and-pet-sitting odyssey, with the vague aim of maybe saving towards a house deposit. It seemed to be the only way I could think of that actually happening, besides sticking my savings into crypto and hoping for the best. Given my work is remote, it made sense to at least try. And so, I got to travel around the UK, live in some beautiful places, hang out with some equally lovely animals, and generally save a bunch of cash in the process.

As some will know, my day job is in digital design. I’m a long-term freelancer, so generally I can control my time somewhat, but last year things got busy. Since covid decimated the freelance community in 2020, things had been slowly building back up. Last year however, one of my regular clients landed a huge ongoing contract and I committed to supporting them through it. As a result, I found myself in the privileged position to consider house ownership seriously for the first time in my adult life.

So, in 2024 I said YES to a very full schedule of design work. Which was very helpful from a purely financial perspective, but not so great for all the creative projects that require my attention outside of that pay-the-bills work, namely my writing and my podcast. But life is about owning the choices we make, accepting the paths we take, and thinking longer-term can sometimes be prescient, especially as one edges across the other side of the forty-something bridge between wilder youth and wiser elder-hood.

Happy Now Yeah

I’m one of those people who gets a real energetic lift from the change of year. After the joy of the Winter Solstice with its promise of the returning light, in January I always feel slightly torn between my animalistic desire to continue hibernating while I can, and the freshness of mind and stirring of potential that the dawning of a new calendar year brings forth.

It isn’t that I dismiss the year gone by, eager to jump headfirst into the inexorable march of progress once more after the seasonal holiday break. I generally find the period around the turning of the year to be extremely reflective, a time I prefer to spend slowing down, reviewing the experiences of the previous year, feeling into what worked, what didn’t; where I can make changes and where I can step up.

Moving into January I typically feel energised in a very clean, positive way. Somewhat rested and recharged, I find myself getting excited about new ideas, projects and plans. I luxuriate in these dreams, they feed me and they make me feel alive. Within that dark fertile soil lie many seeds that in some cases have been waiting quite a long time to be born. In fact, they can be quite insistent that I bring them through and thus begin the steady process of making the invisible visible.

This year I will finish my children’s book, They Came From The Stars, I will talk to some more fascinating humans for Life In Fractals, and I will begin working on a brand new (secret for now) project that feels very much like a natural progression for me and one which is truly lighting me up inside. The creative spirit is incredibly enlivening, for me it brings purpose and meaning. Those feelings are a huge part of what it means to be alive. I choose to turn towards them, but as ever I will balance this energy with the need to rest, get out in the fresh air, and nourish myself with stews, sounds, and sleep.

At Of The Wild’s Harvest ritual. Photo by Leoni Fretwell.

2024 Highlights

• In July I was interviewed on BBC Radio’s The Late Show. I had a proper in-depth chat about my book Chimera with host Jim Davison. You can listen to the whole interview on a special episode of my podcast.

• Everything about and everyone involved with Jaminaround, a thoughtful and endlessly inspiring retreat for singers and musicians held at the serene surrounds of Cranborne Ancient Technology Centre in Dorset. I even got to experience a double-drum kit jam with maestro Dave Smith sharing his kit!

• Attending the 25th Anniversary day at Embercombe in Devon. A place that was very important to me back in 2011 at the start of my journey into integration, animism, and ritual. We co-created a grand ceremony and I ended up being part of a hastily-arranged band who performed a rocking set despite never having played together before!

• Returning to the rootsiest little festival of them all: Green Gathering, in August where the Church of Nigel Shaw is alive and well. I play live percussion in his Global Collective project, which never fails to bring deep and joyous energy to packed-out tents.

• I also did some guest drumming with Nigel and Carolyn Hillier at their album launch in June, as well as at the Bamboo Cedar Oak flute concert in August. Always great to be with those beautiful folks and their big hearts.

• Stepped up to be co-assistant for the new cohort of Dadeni students in October, a deeply immersive animistic program led by the indomitable Angharad Wynne.

• Studied Transpersonal Coaching with the Alef Trust for six months. While there were positives here, specifically around my own holding abilities in coaching sessions, as well as learning some effective techniques, it wasn’t quite what I’d been sold. I decided to leave the course halfway through, along with an unusually high number of the cohort. Again, I will perhaps go into more depth about my experience in a future post.

• Co-holding the sound space for Of The Wild’s Harvest ritual in Bristol in September. A circus-led celebration of seasonal nature in service of community gathering.

• Playing, recording, filming and getting excited about future musical endeavours with my dear friend, the incredible Welsh vocalist Bethan Lloyd.

• My younger brother got married in April, which was a very happy family celebration of love. My four-year old nephew spontaneously decided to bust out his best breakdance moves. Inspirational!

So despite it being a busy work year, 2024 also provided some very happy memories out in the world, snuck in at weekends and holidays. While these special experiences fed me and helped me push on through, I was left precious little time or energy to sit down and focus on my own projects. I am determined to create a better balance in 2025.

Wherever you are, however you are doing this January, I wish you well for the coming year. May you make space for nourishment, get into nature wherever possible, and allow the stirrings of new dreams to ebb and flow in the dreaming dark that lies behind all things.